Carol Enman 

 

carol@balance-is-everything.com 

 

Why  am I a life  coach and a spiritual healer?

 

 

Because life is one very, crazy place... 

Hey, everyone experiences some traumas in their life.  It's just a part of being alive.  But some people experience more than others.   So, when my mom told me that "I should write a book" in my mid-twenties, I got my first heads-up that my life was a little crazier than the average life.  I quickly retorted, who'd read it?  And she said, "Oh, people love this sort of stuff!"  OMG!

In my thirties, my younger brother told me, that "if I killed myself, no one would ask why!  They'd understand!"  Ok, that was a shocker.  Me, I was pretty much trying to roll with the punches.  But after a while I had to ask myself, really?  Come on now, am I missing something here.  There must be more to what's going on than I understand.  And so, began my earnest efforts to understand what creates the lives we live?  What's this journey all about?  Do I have any control here?  Am I powerless or not?  I searched beyond the obvious, to find the peace, the understanding and the answers that made sense in all this craziness.     

Sure, I popped into therapy every so often, looking to get over the event of the day.  There was only one therapist that ever made an impact of me.  Most just listened and said little.  But one woman tried a new therapeutic concept to relive traumas without reliving the emotions, so that you could look at an event in a different way.  It was very, cool, a form of hypnosis, and definitely helped... but she was looking for me to relive all the many events I'd been through, once per week.  I needed more space and time to manage all this, especially given my mother and brothers concepts above.  She got angry with me!!!  Sad but true, and this was the end of this experience. 

We all have had traumas, expereinces, that we've compartmentalized, packed into our psychic box, that we hope stays closed off and silent.  For some these expereinces secretly drive our behaviors, our responses to situations, creating unresolved life patterns, choices, and emotional reactions.  In other cases, we may have just learned bad coping mechanisms from our parents!  Coping mechanisms they learned from their parent and their parents before them.  Mechanisms that have been passed down from generation to generation.  This happens all the time.  Only you can determine if your actions and reactions are learned behaviors or your actions are true to your core self, your soul's mission here in this life.

For instance, being labeled as retarded at age twelve, took a toll on my self-esteem and I spent too much of my life trying to prove I was not stupid, even though Children's Hospital in Boston, after extensive testing, said I had superior intelligence or was actually gifted.  The public school's labeling of me, in front of my entire class, as I saw it, left me with feeling of inadequacy which created my desire to prove myself as smart.  May I share the irony of all of this, was my class mates were essentially oblivious to all this!  As I later learned!    

Have you ever asked yourself what causes you to be who you are?  What causes you to be happy, joyful, to rage, retreat, lash out, chose poor relationships and on and on?  Each of us is a combination of life experiences, parenting, and how we interpreted these.  How we define, see and think about our life and the experiences we have had, and how these have effected our personality or who we beleive we are.     

Is your view of yourself positive or negative?  Are you reliving experiences you had over, and over again?  I did.  But I've changed my viewpoints on many experiences!  It took time, thinking, embracing my truamas, rethinking their effects, searching for answers, and opening-up to new ideas so that I could let these traumas go, making  significant changes in my life - for the better.  

As an empath, many times I can literally see what you're holding on to, given your reactions to situations or the life choices you are making.  I can feel your energy.  I often can feel your pain, as it burst out beyond your control.  

Look, life is a journey, a process, and each event we have, positive or negative is a stepping-stone to personal growth - if you look at it this way. Personal growth is the point of your life's journey.  Believe it or not, the harder your life is, the more growth you can accomplish in this lifetime, expanding your soul's depth, and understanding, while creating a better you for eternity.    

You are a soul, here on earth, having a human experience - first and foremost.  What if you chose the life you are living before you even incarnated here?  What if you chose the challenges you'd face, your parents, the place and time you would live.  Not to imply that you have no free will, and don't have the choice to alter your life and your experiences.  In fact, you do have free will.  You have Free Will through your thinking, attitude, gratitude, positivity, and the energy you push out into the world around you.  If you stay living in your trauma's, you stay living in your pain.  If you learn to release trauma and rewrite the way you think about them, you can move past the pain, your limiting beliefs, turning them into positive lessons.  Opening-up to joy, happiness, and compassion inside of you.  Perhaps even beyond your imagination.  

There are plenty of groups, websites, course, classes, podcasts etc. where you can go to learn more about life, about changing your attitudes, manifesting abundance, etc.  My forst recolection of stepping outside of the box, goes back to college, where I met an old soul, with deep wisdom.  Since then, I've been there and done many of these courses.  What I found is that some of these sites may keep you stagnant, because you're focusing on your limitations not your growth.  Some teach you baby steps to retraining your behaviors, because they don't reach into the fundamental core of you and the experiences that are driving you.  

If your self-esteem stinks, you're often angry, frustrated, sad, and you don't learn how to change these driving thoughts and feelings, you're going to continue to make choices based on how you felt about your experiences and yourself.  If you think you're the best person, better than others, the top of the heap, you are going to continue to alienate people with your condescending ways.   Balance-is-Everything here.

We are constantly pushing out our emotional energy into the world around us.  In terms of energy, in its simplest form, positive energy attracts positive energy.  Negative energy attracts negative energy.  And trying to fake it, that your happy when you are actually miserable, doesn't work.  If you expect the worse, you'll likely get it.  If you expect the best, you can draw this to you too.  

I have a friend who kept saying, "I need a break... over, and over again.  She was sad, frustrated, and angry.  Until she broke her back skiing!  She got a break, in multiple ways, as she was in rehab for months after this.  She is very, very lucky that her back healed and her life resumed without limitations.  I personally suggested she be more careful in what she asks for going forward. 

We have way more influence over your life and its circumstances then we were ever taught.  This is what I have learned from a lifetime of incredible personal adventures, reading, researching, studying all sorts of religions, ways of thinking, different cultures, scientists, philosophers, writers, psychologist, Doctors, PhD's, The Dalia Lama, Jesus, Buddha, and so many more great thinkers, leaders and spiritualists.  

I have come to believe that I am living the journey I signed up for before I incarnated.  I see the thread of my life from as early as I can remember, and how these threads are interwoven into every step of my journey.  From the vivid dream I had as a child where my hands were as small as a pin and then grew to as large as the world, and back to as small as a pin to as big as the world.   In retrospect, this was a metaphor for every life out there.  You can be as small as a pin or as big as the world.  The dream terrified me, because I didn't understand it.  But now I know that it means your life, my life, anyone's life can be as small as a pin or as large as the world.  You have the ultimate choice to create what you want, to be good or to be evil.  What do you really want in your life?   

Our lives are literally, pretty, short in terms of eternity.  So, please give yourself the best learning and growing experience that you can while you're here.  Don't be afraid to die, as you are a soul and you will return to the home where you came from, where you will review your life and how you lived it.  Judgement free from the other side!  Only you will or can judge your life.  

Try to make this your best life, where you resolve karma, life issues, and trauma's so you don't need to repeat these in this life or any other life you will live.